Writing changed my life

Writing has been an important part of my life for as long as I can remember. From the moment I could form letters and hold a pencil I wanted to write; letters to aunts, stories, diaries… anything.

Now writing is a huge part of my work, and it has been for many years, but there are so many more reasons I write than just to share articles on Substack or social media posts.

I write because I need to write.

My background

Professionally, I have had many roles, but they have always relied heavily on writing: teaching, leading workshops, creating wellbeing resources for schools, speaking, journal therapy, even childminding when my daughter was young. All these jobs relied on me to write: lesson plans, session plans, more lesson plans, meditations, you get the idea. I realised during lockdown that it was the writing, and speaking, part of every career choice I had made, that I enjoyed the most.

I loved creating, and sharing, stories and knowledge.

All my life I have written things down to help me work them out. In my teens I wrote to penpals who lived miles away and who shared their deepest thoughts and fears in return. During my university years I wrote diaries, and problem solved on paper that way. I was journalling but I didn’t know that at the time. As I grew older I poured my heart out into blogs and newsletters and made sense of my thoughts that way - I suppose I still do.

By sharing my thoughts with paper I have always worked through any worries or situations I needed support with, paper has always been my therapist.

My professional awareness

When I discovered that there was such a thing as journal therapy a few years ago now, I was fascinated. I had been working in wellbeing for over 10 years at the time and had qualified in spiritual care, mindfulness, meditation, crystals, energy work, everything I could find to help me support my own wellbeing and that of those I cared about.

Imagine my joy when I discovered that I had been using this powerful tool all my life, without even realising it. As I moved through the course it all felt so familiar, but so affirming too. There was actual scientific evidence to back up all the things I had been doing instinctively all my life.

I remember feeling the same way when I did my mindfulness qualification. It was as though my lovely Grandad Joe had written the course. Everything I learned, he had shared with me as a child.

It seems I come from a family of really intuitive, caring people, who just know how best to move through life with as little resistance as possible. What a privilege.

My most valuable tool in midlife

I need this incredible tool more than ever and I’m so grateful that I am fully equipped with the awareness of its power as I move through midlife. I have never needed it more as I navigate perimenopause, my children leaving home (however temporarily), huge life changes personally and professionally and learning who I am again.

As I approach fifty, I have never been more aware of how much our hormones can rip us apart and take a long time to put us back together again. I saw a video the other day comparing it to a caterpillar in its pupa. It isn’t just rearranging itself and growing wings, it becomes a soup that then completely reconstructs into a whole new creature. That’s how perimenopause feels at the moment.

I look at myself and I don’t see much of the person I was a few years ago, and although mostly that’s a good thing, some days it is hard.

I don’t recognise my own body and it doesn’t behave anything like the same way it used to, and as someone who has been through my fair share of hormonal metamorphoses that is a shock, I thought I was used to this by now.

My filter is almost completely gone now, and the things which escape my lips amaze even me at their bluntness some days.

Sleep is something I crave, I can’t get enough of it, but it is usually elusive and that is exhausting.

My joints creak, my eyes are slowly failing me and my magnificent grey hairs are multiplying rapidly.

I have to write lists for everything otherwise I completely forget - more writing.

The strange thing is, I’m ok with all of it - the good, the bad and the ugly - because the alternative is so much worse. I know that the inner confidence and wisdom I have gained over the years is far more valuable than the smaller dress size and the blemish free skin.

I may struggle with some of the symptoms of this stage of life, some days, but I wouldn’t go back to the people pleasing ingénue I was in my twenties for all the size 12 jeans in the world.

It is, in no small part, my regular writing practice, that has allowed me to work through all these complex emotions, and discover what really matters to me.

In the same way I miss my children being little some days, but the thought of them going back to that age permanently, and having to live through all those exhausting times again isn’t appealing. I am grateful for the young adults they are, the interesting conversations we have, and the excitement of watching them step out into the world.

Similarly, while there may be days when I miss my flat stomach and wrinkle free face, I wouldn’t swap the wisdom and freedom I have now to have it back.

Life moves forward and the secret is to enjoy every minute, whether it is joyful or painful. We have to try to appreciate the lessons and memories created every single day.

The one thing we can never get back is time. So I will spend my time writing and unearthing everything I can about the person I am becoming and the person I have left behind.

Whether you are a writer, or you aspire to write more, I urge you to grab a scrap of paper and a pen or pencil and just write today and see what appears on the page when you give yourself no guidance, no restriction, no rules. You just write.

Can you relate to anything I have shared? I would love to know. It’s so easy to feel you are the only one experiencing these things, when in reality, it is often a shared feeling, but most people are afraid to speak up.

Thank you for reading. This publication, and everything I write, comes from my heart and is my own words, and created without the use of AI.

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Hello, I’m Kate - story lover, author, writing coach, journal therapist and mum, based in the Stafford, UK. You can receive my weekly writing tips and updates, wellbeing reminders and the general life ramblings of a menopausal writer, by subscribing for free. If you would like to support my writing and get more content, my paid community get all that, and access to exclusive members only posts, special seasonal content, a powerful meditation to support your writing, and juicy personal insights.

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